Glass Walls and No Regrets
by CassieCastle47
Summary: AU for 6x02 "Dreamworld" The toxin is contagious and time is running out...will Kate save her fiancé or will she be too late? *angst warning, but happy ending* Please R
1. Chapter 1

The door opened and Castle turned, expecting to see Kate. But it wasn't her at all. Instead, it was two men in HAZMAT suits. Without a word, they put him roughly in a suit and put a mask over his face before escorting him away. He looked around for Kate, knowing that she woud explain what was going on. But she was nowhere to be seen.

Kate couldn't believe this was happening. He wasn't supposed to be in danger anymore, since he wasn't shadowing her. He was supposed to be safe! How could she have let this happen? She had made sure she was out of sight when they transferred him to medical. she didn't think she would have been able to handle it. Right now, she needed to focus on finding that antidote. She needed that man, and she wasn't about to let him die on her. Especially not like had seen video of what this toxin did to people, and there was no way in hell she was going to let him go through that.

"Please, just tell me what's going on," Castle begged. "I have a right to know what's happening." The HAZMAT groupies still didn't say a word, simply stripped him and hosed him down with cold water and some sort of itchy soap before handing him a towel and a pair of scrubs. They then pushed him into a glass room of some sort and shut the door. He heard it suction closed. And then they were gone, leaving him dripping wet and wondering what the hell was happening.

"Go see him, Beckett," Rachel sighed. "You need to see him to work properly, and you know he needs to see you. So, go down to medical, see your fiance', come back, and save his life, okay?" Kate shook her head.

"Rachel, I...I can't."

"That was an order, Kate. Go. Spend at least 15 minutes, be back within 45. Now." Kate simply had no choice but to turn and head toward the elevator to go downstairs to medical. The elevator ride made her think of Castle. Of course it wasn;t THE elevator; the one at the 12th with NYPD embossed on the metal doors and the dirty tile floor she'd once seen him splayed out upon. It didn't have the gun safety poster or the sticker that said "I Love NYC". But it was an elevator, and elevators for them held significance. A place for little confessions and jokes. A place for not asking very loudly. She felt tears prick the back of her eyes and impatiently blinked them back. She had to be strong. She needed to be there for him. She stepped off the elevator and went over to the desk.

"He's over there," said the lady sitting there, gesturing vaugely behind her. Kate glanced in that direction and felt her heart constrict. A glass-walled room. It looked like some kind of observation tank, with no privacy whatsoever. All that it held was a small bed, and nightstand, and, she noticed with some relief, a bathroom with actual walls.

"He'll hear me through the glass?" Kate asked, cursing herself for how shaky her voice sounded.

"Yep," the lady replied. "Loud and clear." BEckett nodded.

"Thank you," she said, and moved around the desk, keeping her eyes on him, sitting there on the bed with scrubs on and wet hair. He looked up as she drew closer to the glass and got up immediately, meeting her at the wall.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. She smiled weakly.

"Hey, Rick," she said.

"Hey. What's going on, why am I in here? They didn't tell me anything!" He said.

"They didn't tell you?" she repeated. he shook his head vehemently.

"No. They didn't say a word!" he enforced. Kate drew in a breath. She really did not want to be the one to have to tell him this. Why the hell would they not have told him? But here they were, and he was depending on her to answer, to explain.

"Okay. That car you were in?" she said. He nodded.

"The man died becasue of a deadly toxin," she explained. "It's highly contaigous and he gave it to you. That's why you're here." He looked stricken.

"Contaigous?" his brains seemed to be working at top speed,whirling and spinning. Suddenly, a look of horror crossed his face. "Oh, god, Kate," he said. "You were around me after that. You were close to me, touching me. Have you been tested?" She wanted to cry. Here he was, facing death, again, and all he could think about was rather or not she had been infected.

"Yes, babe, I did," she replied. "Apparently, I'm immune."

"Good. that's good," he muttered. "What about the medic who worked on me?" he asked.

"She's infected as well," KAte replied. He sighed.

"But you guys are working on it, right? I mean, if there's poison, there's an antidote." KAte nodded.

"We are working on it, yes," she said. "But Castle, the rest of the toxin and the antidote have been destroyed. We think there's another vial somewhere, but..." she trailed off, knowing he would know where she was headed with that.

"More could be made, though, right?" he asked.

"Yes, but it would take too long," she replied.

"How long?"

"Two weeks."

"Then how long do I have if two weeks is too long?" he inquired. She met his eyes and instantly wished that she hadn't. The blue depths looked so scared, so alone. He looked like a child, terrified and small.

"48 hours," she said. "But after about 24, your body will deteriorate and...after 24, recovery will be impossible." He stared at her in shock.

"48 hours?" he whispered. She nodded. Tears were welling in her eyes again and she tried to push them back.

"I'm sorry, Rick," she said. He blinked at her, seemingly still processing.

"I'll let you have some time to process this," she said quietly, but he reached out his hand to stop her, realizing too late that he couldn't touch her.

"No, Kate, please," he called out. She turned back, already a few steps away. "Please don't go yet. I just...I want to spend a little bit of time with you, if you have a few minutes." She nodded.

"Of course. Rachel gave me 45 mintues," she replied, moving back to stand next to the glass. He nodded.

"Kate," he began.

"Rick, don't," she begged. "Please, don't. Don't say goodbye, because I know that's where you're headed with this. don't. We still have some time and I'm going to solve this, because I love you, and I want to marry you, and that wedding is going to happen, okay? You're going to be fine. I can't have you dying on me, alright?" He nodded.

"Okay. KAte?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too. And I have complete faith in you, okay? You're the best Federal Agent the world has ever seen. I love you." She smiled weakly back at him.

"Thank you, Rick. I love you, too." She pressed her palm flat against the glass and he mirrored her movement, their palms seperated by the glass wall. The wall. It symbolized everything. The walls, her walls, the time ticking away, the fact that there may never be a time when those hands touched without a thin sheet of glass between them. The moment seemed to last ages. It was only broken by the sound of Kate's phone, alerting her to a text. She pulled it out to see that it was from Rachel.

**Come now. We have a lead. **

Kate looked back at him.

"I have to go," she said. "Rachel has a lead. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" He nodded and she could see the fear in his eyes. She longed to hold him in her arms, to run her fingers through his hair, to kiss his head and whisper to him that she was there and that everything would be alright.

"Stay strong for me, okay?" she whispered instead. He nodded.

"Always." With one last look at the man she was trying to save, Kate Beckett bolted from the room, hoping and praying that Rachel's lead was solid. Time was ticking.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The lead was worthless, taking up almost an hour of precious time. Back at headquarters, Kate turned to Rachel.

"I'm going to go see Rick, I'll be back in a few minutes," she said. She didn't even stand there long enough for Rachel to reply. She just needed to see him, to assure herself that he was okay-for now, at least. She approached the glass and saw that he was sitting on the bed with his back to her.

"Castle?" she called. He turned around quickly.

"Hey," he said, standing up and walking over to her.

"Hey," she replied.

"How did it go?" he asked. She shook her head.

"It was a dead end," she said, watching his face fall. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Beckett," he said. She nodded.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Completely normal," he said. "Bored out of my mind. You think you can get me a notebook or something?" Kate nodded.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," she said.

"Thanks."

"Sure." They stared at each other in silence.

"Do you, uh, do you want me to call Alexis and Martha?" she asked. Castle shook his head.

"No. No, don't. Not yet," he replied. Kate nodded. More silence.

"I wish I could...hold you, kiss you, hold your hand. God, I wish so many things," Kate whispered.

"No," he said. "Don't say that, Kate, please don't," he begged. "You will. Soon. I know you can do this, Beckett. You'll figure it out. You've figured out some seriously tough cases. Hell, you and I stopped a nuclear bomb once, remember?"

"Yeah," she said. "But this time I don't have you to be crazy and reckless and pull out all the wires."

"You don't need me to," he replied. "You were always a great cop, Kate. The best." She raised her eyes to meet him through the glass wall.

"But I was better with you," she told him. He smiled almost sadly at his fiancee'.

"Then we'll be unbeatable for the rest of our lives," he promised. "Until we grow old together and I'm pulling your beautiful gray pigtails." Kate managed a small smile at his words.

"Now, you go be the badass agent I know you are," he said. "And when all this is over I'm going to kiss you like you've never been kissed before, Miss Beckett." Kate nodded.

"I'm going to hold you to that, alright?"

"I fully expect you to," he said.

"I love you, Rick." She found herself wanting-needing-to say it and hear it as many times as possible-just in case.

"I love you, too," he replied. He raised his hand to his lips and kissed his fingers, blowing a puff of air over his hand in her direction. He was blowing her kisses. God, this man! She fought back tears as she caught the kiss and blew one back to him.

"I'll be back soon," she promised, and he nodded. She turned and walked away, not wanting to look back at him for fear of falling apart completely.

Back upstairs, Kate informed Rachel of Rick's request for a notebook and pen. The other agent assured her that it would be taken care of. They worked almost mindlessly for the next couple of hours, checking and re-checking financials and phone records, rap sheets and medical reports. Around six that evening, Kate pushed away from her desk.

"Taking a break?"Rachel asked. Kate nodded.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "I'm going to go downstairs for a little bit." McCord nodded absentmidedly, her attention already back on her work.

Kate arrived back at Rick's room to find him sitting on the bed,s cribbling furiously in a notebook with a ballpoint pen. There was also a new addition to the roon; a chair, sitting near the glass. She noticed an identical one nearby on her side.

"Hey," she said softly. He looked up. Despite the awful circumstances, his eyes brightened at the sight of her, and her heart clenched.

"Hey," he replied, rising from the bed to approach the glass. They both sat down in their respective chairs, Kate drawing her knees up to her chest.

"Your eyes look tired," Castle observed. "Reading a lot?" Kate nodded.

"Yeah, going over records," she said.

"Anything?"

"Not yet. But we'll get there," she replied.

"No, I know that. Of course you will."

"You still feeling alright?" Kate asked, and Castle nodded.

"Yeah. How long should it be before that changes?" he inquired.

"You've hopefully got about 14 more hours before it starts to affect you," she told him.

"Okay. Kate, have you eaten?" he wanted to know.

"Eaten?" she repeated.

"Yes. When was the last time you had food?"

"Um...I don't know, breakfast? Maybe?" she replied. He frowned.

"Kate, honey, you have to eat."

"Rick, I-I'm not hungry."

"You have to take care of yourself," he pressed. "For...for me." He paused. "If I can't take care of you, I need to know that you're taking proper care of yourself."

"If you..." she took in his words before understanding the full meaning, looking panicky all of a sudden.

"Rick! Please, don't go there. You're going to be fine, you're going to be here to take care of me. You're going to make me eat and force medicine on me when I'm sick and drag me away from work when I need to sleep and won't go home. You have to be there for that, Castle. YOu have to. i can't do that without you, I can't do...life without you, I can't. I need you to be here, pulling my pigtails and being my crazy, recless partner who pulls out all the wires and throws himself in front of bullets meant for me. I need you, Rick." She was starting to cry and he felt as if his heart were shattering into a zillion tiny pieces.

"Oh, Kate," he whispered. "Shhh, please don't cry. I'm sorry, Kate, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. That's the scariest part is that you're right. In less than two days, Castle, you might not be here at all."

"No. No, Kate, baby, please don't. Please. I can't stand to see you like this, please?" He wished so much that he could take her in his arms and hold her close and run his fingers through her hair and hug her tight and tell her it was okay, that he was there, and that everything would be okay.

"Kate, please," he pleaded softly. "Don't cry. It's going to be okay, honey. Please, Kate. It's okay."

"I hope you're right," she murmured.

"I really want to give you a hug right now," he said.

"Yeah. Me,too," she replied. Rick smiled.

"Promise me you'll eat something," he said.

"Okay," she agreed. "I promise."

"Thank you," he said. Kate nodded. Soon after, she left, going back upstairs. When she left to pick up dinner for herself and Agent McCord, Rachel stood and headed for the elevator. She pressed the button marked 'M'-Medical. Castle looked up as Rachel approached the glass.

"Hey, Agent McCord," he said, cautiously.

"Hi, Mr. Castle," Rachel replied.

"Castle, please," he told her. Rachel smiled faintly.

"Okay, Castle," she amended.

"What can I do for you?" he asked, realizing a moment too late that there really wasn't much he could do.

"I just wanted to come see how you're doing," she replied.

"Oh. I feel fine," he told her. "I mean, nothing feels different."

"Good," Rachel said.

"How's Kate?" he inquired.

"She's...compartmentalizing very well. Working her ass off, of course. But she's worried. she's upset. She's probably feeling guilty."

"Where is she right now?" he asked.

"Out picking up dinner," Rachel replied, and he paused, hesitating.

"How is she, here?" he asked finally. It took Rachel a minute to figure out exactly what he was asking.

"She's good at this," she told him. "She has the brain for it, for sure. She's crazy-smart. Brilliant, even. And driven." Here, Rachel paused. "Almost too driven. There's something there. she's doing this for some deeper reason. It's definitely not just a job. I don't know what it is, but she's avenging something. She's on some kind of a quest, and as long as she holds that fire where it belongs, it's helpful for her." Rick nodded.

"Be careful," he said. "It's really easy for her to let that fire consume her." He paused. This was so much harder than he had expected it to be. "Rachel, I know that you guys are going to do the best you can here. But let's face it; there's a really tight time limit. And if you don't manage to get that antidote, I need to know that you're going to be here, or at least that someone will. I need to know that you won't let her go back down that hole. I can't tell you right now what the hole is, or who it involves. But you'll know. When she starts to slip, you'll know. And I need you to please promise me that you will try to keep her safe. Because the person on the other side of this?" Castle shook his head. "He's bigger than you can imagine. And he may get bigger still. Sometimes, she thinks she's superman. And she's not. You have to promise me that you'll go with her."

"Go with her?" Rachel repeated.

"Yeah. Down the hole. There's no use trying to stop her. the best thing anyone can do is to back her up. Promise me you won't let her go at him alone." Rachel McCord looked him dead in the eye, and she saw the one thing she's always wanted but never found staring back at her;unconditional love. This man was more in love with Kate Beckett than Rachel had ever encountered. She had never seen such love and devotion. He was willing to do anything for Kate, even if that meant putting himself in danger to stand with her. To be her partner. Agent McCord was suddenly struck by the wrongness of this whole situation. The man standing in front of her could die in less than two days, and yet his imminent worry was whether or not Kate would be alright, whether or not he could depend on Rachel to be there for his fiancee'. He didn't seem particularly worried for himself at the moment. If he was, he was doing a damn good job hiding it. Rachel swallowed the newfound obstruction in his throat.

"Okay," she said. "You have my word." A look of immense relief crossed the novelist's face.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I have to go. Kate will be back soon." Rick nodded and watched Rachel walk away, wondering what life without Kate would be like. Or, maybe, he amended, death without her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kate was desperately wishing she hadn't gone out to eat dinner. She was alone, without any work to distract her, and she was finding it more than a little hard to ignore her thoughts. She was trying to be strong for him, but she couldn't stop thinking about how that toxin would affect him if they didn't get the antidote in time. First, he would find himself moving more slowly. Then, his fever would spike, as if he had the flu, and he would be cold and sweaty. Then, light sensitivity and a horrible headache. His whole body would cramp; every muscle would ache. He would then find it difficult to breathe. He would cough blood, before becoming delusional, at which point, he would never be able to recover, and he would die within 18 hours.

Kate shivered at the thought. She couldn't let him go through that. He was the sweetest, most loving man she'd ever met. He didn't deserve that. There was really only one person in the word who, in her opinion, did deserve it.

After picking up dinner, Kate took it back to headquarters.

"Have you talked to Castle's family?" Rachel asked. Kate shook her head.

"He didn't want me to call them yet," she said quietly.

"Oh." There was silence for the rest of the meal.

They made some progress in the next few hours, making it one step closer. Kate went to see Rick again, but only stayed for a few minutes. Time was ticking.

They picked up a promising suspect-Cameron Messer, a young ex-Marine. Kate and Rachel interrogated him. They did the dance for about 20 minutes.

" , if you know anything about this-anything at all- you need to tell us now."

The arrogant marine snorted.

"You guys are acting like a cop got infected or something!" he said. "For God's sake, it's just a mystery writer! Why the hell does it matter?"

Later, KAte wouldn't even remember getting out of her chair. All she would remember would be shoving Messer to the ground, socking him hard in the jaw, and towering over her with tears in her eyes.

"That's my fiancé you're talking about!" she said. "Don't you dare talk about him like that! How dare you?"

Messer didn't know where to stop.

"Seriously? This is some kind of personal vendetta to avenge your fiancé's death? How touching."

Kate punched him hard, right in the nose.

"Beckett!" McCord called. Kate was pounding Messer, seemingly unable to control herself. Rachel and a couple of uniforms grabbed Kate by the shoulders.

"No! Let me go!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "You ass!" she sobbed. "He's not dead yet, do you hear me? He's not dead! He can't be! He has to be here, he promised! You worthless piece of garbage, you can't talk about him like that! You don't know him, you don't know who he is! Go to hell, Messer!" she screamed.

"Kate, calm down," Rachel said.

"No, I can't! He can't die, Rachel, he can't! Always! He said Always, he has to be here!" Kate had failed to notice that the uniforms had taken their prisoner to a different room, leaving Kate and Rachel alone. Rachel gently lowered her partner to the floor, sitting next to her.

"I know, KAte," Rachel said softly. "I know. I know you love him, I know you need him, I know he means the world to you. But you have to calm down right now. Now isn't the time or place, Beckett. I need you to breathe and calm down, alright?" she said. Kate took a shaky breath.

"Rachel, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it," she expressed. "The way he was talking about Rick like he was worthless and already dead, I just couldn't take it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," McCord said. "But you need to pull yourself together, or I will have no choice but to take you off this case, you understand that, don't you?" Kate nodded.

"Yeah. I just...can you give me a few minutes?" she asked.

"Of course," Rachel said as she stood up, and then left, leaving Kate alone there on the floor with her thoughts and fears.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Hey," said Beckett. The lady at the desk looked up, taking in Kate's makeup-free face, her skin clean and recently scrubbed, and her red-rimmed eyes.

"Hi," she replied.

"How is he?" Beckett asked.

"Fine, I suppose. He just sits and writes. Hasn't hardly stopped since we gave him the notebook. Sometimes he gets up and paces. But that's about it. No symptoms yet." It was nearly 3 a.m. now. Cameron Messer had finally relented. He wasn't their guy, but he knew someone, and now Rachel and the team were out running down another lead. Rick had only about 5 hours left until symptoms started to show, leaving just 9 until he was as good as dead. Time was running out, and Kate felt that opting out on this particular lead in order to spend some time here with Rick would be a better use of her time. They were inching toward a solution, toward the antidote. But the fear that was gnawing at Kate was that they would be an hour too late.

'No regrets,' she had told him once, when it was her facing death. A matter of minutes, then, trapped in a symbolic red circle on the floor. No regrets. A good run. But now, she was on the other side. She was the one having to watch the person she loved close in on death. And she would've thought that this would be easier, that the other way would be harder. She would've thought that it would be harder to die than to watch another person die. But this was Castle. This wasn't just another murder victim. This was him. Her partner. The man who was willing to, without a seconds' hesitation, throw himself in front of a bullet for her. He would-and had- willingly enter a burning building for her. He had reacted out of instinct not to self-preserve but to protect her. He was willing to stand with her until the very last second, was willing to, if he coultdn't take her place, die with her rather than let her die alone. She had never known such deep love before. But she was wrong-this wasn't easier. This was a million times harder, having to watch him face death. She would gladly have taken his place. Were this toxin a bullet, she would have jumped in front of it for him. If the toxin was a bomb, she would have let it blow her up, too. And if this glass room were a burning building, she would have gone in to save him. But it wasn't. It was a toxin, eating away at the world's most generous, kind-hearted man from the inside. She couldn't take the toxin. She would have. Hell, she would've walked into that room and been exposed herself if she had her she couldn't. she was immune. Talk about irony.

Kate looked across the open space at the glass room, bathed in harsh white light, looking clean and bright just as it had during the day. And she saw him sitting there, on the hard, stiff, bed with his notebook and pen, still scribbling away. Approaching the glass, she just watched him for a moment, taking him in. His dark brown hair, the way it fell over his forehead, the curve of his shoulders, the outline of his muscles. The way his long legs curled gracefully under him. the efforless, long-since-perfected way his right hand flew across the page, forming letters and words at high speed, his thoughts bleeding onto the paper. She wondered what he was writing. Then, he looked up at her and smiled, disarmingly as always. That smile. She stared at it, that smile. It wasn't the million-watt smile he flashed for the cameras, with that teasing edge of a smirk to it. No, this was the warm, soft, gentle, beautiful smile just for her. Kate tried to memorize that beautiful smile, the way the deep blue eyes sparkled. Thoughts of how much she would miss him crossed her mind before she had time to push them away. He stood, drawing close to the glass before his expression changed, that sweet smile giving way to concern.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, Kate started to nod, to assure him that yes, she was fine, but she realized it would never work. This man knew her, all of her, every fault, every fear, every mistake, every scar. He would know she was lying just as surely as he knew she had been crying.

"No," she breathed. "I'm not okay. I won't be until you are." He took a breath as they both sat down in their respective chairs, letting it out on a deep, heavy sigh.

"Kate," he began. "I-I'm not giving up yet. I hope you're not either." She shook her head.

"No. Of course I'm not. I just...I can't help but think about it. And this guy, he was in interrogation with Rachel and I, and he said some things he shouldn't have said, and I just...I couldn't take it. Before I knew it, he was on the ground and I was punching him and screaming and Rachel had to have help holding me back." She found herself having told him the story already, even though she hadn't wanted to in the first place. "Anyway, it doesn't matter," she concluded. "It led us to something else. The team's out running that down now."

"You didn't go with them?" he asked, sounding surprised,

"I just figured that this might be a better use of my time," she replied. He nodded, and then they just sat there staring at each other for several long minutes.

"Are you, um, are you alright?" he asked her. "I mean, from the sounds of things, it got a little out of hand with that guy, You come out of it okay?" KAte's facial features softened.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm fine," she assured him. HE smiled sweetly at her.

"That's my girl," he said. "Always coming out on top." KAte managed a small smile in response.

"Thanks."

"Hey," he said after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"I was just thinking," he began, "I really don't like the long-distance thing, Kate."

"Neither do I," she agreed. "I've really missed you."

"I've missed you, too. So I was just thinking after this is over, we should look for a place. Here, in DC." Kate stared at him in shock.

"I mean, I can write anywhere. My job is completely mobile. Your job is here, which means you are here, and if you're here, then there is nowhere else I would rather be." Kate took in the earnest look in his blue eyes.

"Rick, that's so sweet," she said.

"So is that a yes?" he asked. Kate smiled.

"Of course. Yes, of course," she replied. He smiled back at her, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then.

"We're going to get through this, Kate," he murmured as if he could read her thoughts. She nodded, again swallowing the newfound obstruction in her throat.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "I know we will. We always do."

"We do," he echoed confirmingly. Again, he pressed his palm to the cool glass.

"I love you, Kate," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Rick. More than you know." He smiled faintly and they stared at each other for a moment before Kate sighed.

"Listen," she said. "I have to go. Rachel and the others will be back soon, and hopefully this lead will be the one." Castle nodded as Kate looked at her watch. 4 hours until the symptoms would show up.

"How long?" he asked immediately.

"4 hours," she admitted. He just nodded, taking it in stride.

"I'll be back soon, okay?" she promised.

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you, too," she said. She glanced over her shoulder at him as she walked away to find him watching her. Always watching.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Hey, Rachel," Kate said.

"Hey, Beckett," McCord replied.

"You get anything out there?" Beckett asked.

"Just another step," Rachel told her. "You know how it goes. But we're getting closer." KAte nodded, went back to her desk, and got to work.

They made more progress. They now knew who was responsible. It was just a matter of finding out why and of finding him. Kate took another crack at Messer, but he really had told them everything he knew. She called down to medical for an update on Rick, and was told that he was asleep. She was tempted to go down there and watch him sleep, but she knew that he time would be better spent up here, working. Only an hour and a half left.

They were at a bit of a lull when Kate got the call from medical. About 20 minutes before Kate's calculated time for Rick's symptoms to appear, he had gotten up to use the bathroom. On his way back to the bed, he had fallen. It seemed he had simply lost his balance out of nowhere. Kate's heart was pounding as she bolted downstairs. She found CAstle sitting in the chair when she arrived. again, she bypassed the desk and approached him. He looked up as she got close and managed a sort-of smile.

"Hey, baby," she said softly as she sat down in her chair.

"Hey." She thought he looked paler than he had when she'd last been down here.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I honestly don't know," he admitted. "They called you, I assume?"

"Yeah, they did," Kate confirmed.

"I don't know what happened," he said. "I just...I couldn't walk, out of nowhere." Kate nodded.

"Yeah, I know," she said.

"Now I have trouble moving a lot," he said. Kate nodded again.

"Yeah, that's what we expected."

"What did you say comes next?" he inquired.

"Light sensitivity and a really bad headache," she replied.

"Right."

"Hey," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to be right here," she promised. "You won't be alone, Rick."

"I appreciate it, sweetheart, but you have to work." She knew she wouldn't win this particular battle.

"Okay," she relented. "But when you start progressing, they're going to call me and I'll be here, okay?" Rick nodded and gave her another small half-smile.

"Okay. Love you." Kate's heart constricted as she met the scared blue eyes.

"I love you, too." And then she was gone, with a renewed determination-not that she needed it.

Kate was barely aware of how the next half-hour passed. But when her phone rang, she jumped and answered it quickly.

"Beckett."

"Agent Beckett, this is Nurse Carson in Medical." Kate sat up a little straighter.

"Carson. What happened?" she asked.

"He says his head is hurting. He's turned out the lights and is lying down with his hand over his eyes." Kate sighed.

"Okay. I'm on my way," she said shortly.

"Rachel," she began as she hung up.

"Yeah?"

"I'm pretty much bowing out. Rick's getting worse and I need to be with him. But keep me in the loop, okay?"

"Of course," Rachel said instantly. "Go." Kate hurried downstairs, arriving back at medical to find that Rick's lights were indeed off. she could see him lying in the bed with a shaky hand shading his eyes. She went to the glass and just watched for a moment.

"Rick?" she began softly. He turned his head to look at her and winced. She felt the knot in her stomach tighten.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey. How you doin'?"

"My head hurts."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"I still wish there was something I could do," she said.

"I know you do," he replied. Kate sat down in the chair again, curling her legs under her to keep watch.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Another lead. Another step closer.

Rick's fever spiked. He was shivery and sweaty, in addition to the headache that was getting worse. Kate hated to see him like this. He was always so strong. Now, he was pale and shaking and sweaty, cold and in pain. His head was pounding and he was scared. And he was alone in a glass tank. She was there, nearby, but she wasn't close enough. She hated this!

"Kate?" his voice was small and shaky. "Are you still there?"

"Of course, baby. I'm right here."

"My head really hurts," he said.

"I know, Rick," she murmured, longing to touch him, to cradle him in her arms and kiss his head and be there for him. "I'm sorry you're going through this. But Rachel has our guy in custody. They'll break him soon." She hoped they would, anyway. There were only two and a half hours left.

Suddenly, after about ten minutes of silence, a gasp from Rick startled Kate.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"My stomach hurts," he said. "Oh, god, Kate." She felt so helpless. He was in immense pain, and all she could do was sit here and watch. She wanted-needed-to help him. He was her fiancé, her partner, her best friend, her whole world. And he was suffering. And she was doing nothing. He whimpered in pain and she felt her heart break at the sound.

"Kate," he cried. She felt tears well in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, god, it hurts," he said. She had had enough. She couldn't just sit here like this.

"Okay, that's it, I'm coming in," she announced.

"But you-I don't want you to get sick," he objected, sounding panicky.

"No, I won't. I'm immune, remember?"

"Agent Beckett, you could still get it if you have prolonged exposure," Carson reminded her, appearing out of nowhere. Kate rounded on her, grabbing the nurse by the arm and leading her away. The only reason she walked away was so that she wouldn't hurt Castle's head with her raised tone.

"Listen to me," Kate demanded. "I. Don't. Care. I don't care if I get infected or not! That man is my whole world, do you hear me? He would die for me in an instant, no second thoughts. So you know what? He needs me and I cannot just sit here and watch him suffer anymore, I can't. Let me in to the room, now." The nurse stared at Beckett's face, set and fierce and intense. She decided not to argue.

"Okay," she agreed. They went back to the room, where Castle was still lying in bed, small sounds of pain escaping his lips. Nurse Carson punched in the code for Kate. She took note of the numbers-41319. Huh. That was interesting. Per the sign, Kate slipped off her jacket and shoes before practically running to Rick's side. She fell to her knees by the bed.

"Rick," she whispered. "Babe, it's me. I'm right here."

"Kate," he whispered.

"Yeah, I'm here," she assured him. "Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere," he gasped. "Everything hurts." Kate felt like her heart was shattering into a million pieces. She gently climbed onto the mattress next to him, leaning back against the slope of the hospital bed, gently easing herself under him. She carefully eased his large, shaking frame back against her. Even though the circumstances were beyond horrible, it felt so good to have him here in her arms.

"Kate," he cried. "It hurts. God, it hurts." Kate brushed soft kisses to his head, entertwining her fingers with his. Her other hand cradled his head to her, running her fingers gently through his hair.

"I know it does," she whispered. "Just...just squeeze my hand, okay? As hard as you need to. I'm right here." Castle bit back a cry of pain as another cramp attacked his muscles. He squeezed Kate's hand hard, whimpering in pain. He felt Kate's other hand move through his hair, soothing and gentle and familiar. Her lips skated over his temple.

"God, Kate," he cried. "I...it hurts so much. Oh, god, it hurts."

"I know," she replied. "Am I making it worse?" she asked. He shook his head and instantly regretted having done so. He must have cried out, because Kate lightly squeezed his hand, her other hand skating down his neck, coming to rest over his heart.

"No," he managed. "No. Please don't leave. Stay, Kate. Please?"

"Okay," she agreed. "I will. I'm here, alright? Not going anywhere, I promise."

"Kate?" he said.

"What?"

"I'm scared." Those two little words broke her heart. He sounded so small, so alone, so broken.

"I know you are. I'm scared, too. But you need to know that..." she paused, took a deep breath, and forced herself to continue, her fingers tracing light, invisible patterns on his chest. "...that I love you more than anything, Castle. Rick I love you so much. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I'm not giving up, okay?"

"I love you, too, Kate. I really do love you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: don't own it. **

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing! Love to you all!**

**Also, this is going to be the last update until last week...most likely. I have Thanksgiving break this week, so it's gonna be a little busy. To my American readers, happy Thanksgiving!**

**Xx-Cassie**

Chapter 7

It was all he could do not to scream, the pain was so intense. Somehow, they had shifted so that he was curled into her side, his cheek resting on her shoulder. Kate cradled his head to her with one hand, the other holding his. She only moved her hand from his head in order to wrap a blanket gently around his shoulders. He was shaking in her arms, whimpering and gasping in pain.

"Kate," he said. "My head, oh god." He turned his face into her shoulder, burying into her, and screamed. The muffled sound was physically painful for her. She bit back tears of her own as he broke down, sobbing into her chest.

"Kate, god, Kate, I can't do this. Make it stop. Kate, please, please, just make it stop," he pleaded.

"Shhh," she soothed. "Angel, I'm sorry. You know I can't or I would. I would take your place if I could, Rick. In a heartbeat. I'm so sorry, baby."

"No," he muttered. "I don't...me better than you. I don't want you to...go through this."

"I wish you werent' going through it, either," Kate told him. "You don't deserve this, Rick." He just held her hand tighter.

"Give it up, O'Malley," Rachel said.

"Nope."

"Where is the antidote?" she repeated.

"I'm not telling you," he said calmly.

"Yes, you are," she said.

"Why should I?" he asked.

"Because you will not like the alternative," she promised him. Her eyes were dark and dangerous. She had to break this guy-and soon. The last time she'd talked to Beckett, Castle hadn't been doing well at all. Rachel could hear him crying in pain in the background.

"Where are you?" she had asked Kate suspiciously.

"I'm in the room with Rick," Kate had replied softly. Rachel was pretty sure she was keeping her voice down for her fiancé's benefit.

"Kate!" Rachel said.

"I'm immune, Rachel, I don't want to hear it." Here, Kate paused. "Hang on a sec," she said. Rachel heard her shift the phone, but she could still hear the conversation on the other end.

"Kate," Rick cried.

"Shhh," Rachel heard Beckett soothe him. "I know, baby. I know. I'm right here, Rick, I've got you." A moment later, she came back on the line.

"Hey, I'm back."

"So, I take it he isn't doing well," Rachel said.

"Not especially," Kate replied.

"We've got our guy," Rachel told her. "We're so close, Kate. We'll get the antidote, alright? Just tell him to hang in there."

"Okay."

"You, too, Kate," Rachel added softly. "Just be strong for a little bit longer, okay?" She heard Kate take a shaky breath.

"Okay. Thanks, Rachel."

"Yep. I'll talk to you again soon, okay?"

"Alright."

Now, Rachel McCord stared hard at Andrew O'Malley across the steele table, and all she could see was her partner and Rick Castle. Kate loved that man more than life itself, and today, she'd had a moment with Castle. He was so in love with her. He would do anything for that woman. Today, she had made a promise to a man she barely knew. She promised him something she just prayed she would never have to act upon. She had to make sure that he could fulfill that promise himself.

"You listen to me," McCord said. "I promise you, you do not want Richard Castle to die. Because his fiancée is my partner, and let me tell you, buddy, you do not want her on your ass. He dies, she will hunt you down. she will find you, and when she does, you will regret ever having been born."

"She can't do anything," he sneered. "Now without legal action." McCord sat back in her chair, surveying him. She shook her head and raised her eyebrows.

"Well, I sure as hell won't be stopping her," she said. "Matter of fact, I'll probably be right beside her. I talked to him today, She's his world. And he is hers." Rachel leaned forward again. "O'Malley, if he dies, prison will be your saving grace. Because after what he's going through today, I would say that you're safer in prison, even if he makes it. She's hell on wheels, I can tell you that first hand. You don't want to be on her bad side. And if he dies, that's it. She won't have anything left to lose and she will not care what the consequences are. She won't care about legal action. And even if she did, I'm not sure anyone in this town would be willing to prosecute a badass Federal Agent who was brought here from the NYPD where she was the youngest female ever to make detective. In homicide. She and her team had the highest case clearance rate in the entire NYPD. She's one hell of a cop. So don't think that you won't pay for this. I promise you, your better option will be to get yourself some prison time. Nice and cozy in there."

"YOu think it matters to me who got infected?" he asked.

"I think it should."

"Well, it doesn't."

"Listen, O'Malley, you are trying me patience here,"Rachel snapped. "We both know you did it, and we both know you're facing hard time. But you know what else I know?"

"What else do you know, Agent Smart-Ass?"

"That I can cut you a deal."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry I was gone so long! I had Thanksgiving break, along with my 15th birthday celebration with my friends and family! So here I am, back with an update. Hope you guys are still with me! Xx-Cassie**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Chapter 8

Kate was trying so hard to hold herself together for him. But it was nearly impossible. She couldn't stand to see him like this. He was in such immense pain, and it was so hard for her to watch. But then again, the thought of leaving him was completely unfathomable.

"Kate...I can't do this anymore. I can't."

"You can, Rick," she replied. "You can. I promise. You're so strong, baby."

"I don't...I don't feel strong," he admitted. Kate ran her fingers through his hair gently.

"I know you don't. But you are. You are, Castle. I don't ever want you to think that you're not, okay?"

"I love you," he whispered. "Promise me you won't ever forget how much I love you, okay?" Kate gently pressed a kiss to his lips before resting her forehead against his lightly.

"I love you, too," she murmured. "But you're going to have plenty of time to tell me that, okay? You will." She was clinging to shreds of hope that were becoming more and more distant. There was only one hour left.

And then it got worse. He suddenly clutched her hand, looking panicky.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Going to be sick," he grunted. Kate quickly reached for an emesis basin and helped him turn sideways. She felt so helpless as she rubbed soothing circles on his back. Once his stomach was completely empty, he collapsed back to the bed, crying out as his head hit the pillow. Kate placed the basin out of the way and laid back down next to him, softly kissing his forehead.

"God, Kate, that hurt," he said.

"I'm sorry," she told him.

"I just want it to be over," he whispered. "I want it to end, Beckett." Despite the fact that she knew it was the pain talking, his words made her panic a little.

"No, shhh," she said. "Don't say that, Rick, okay? Please don't. It's not over yet, alright? Just hang on for me, just a little bit longer, okay?" she begged.

"Kate!" he cried. she laid her hand on his stomach and could feel his muscles constricting. He turned onto his side and curled into her again.

"I know," she murmured quietly.

"Hurts," he whimpered.

"I know, angel," she said. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here, Rick, I've got you."

"I...make it stop, please," he gasped.

"Shhh," Kate soothed quietly. "I'm sorry, babe, you know I can't."

"How long?" he asked.

"About an hour," Kate whispered. Again, he turned into her and screamed. Kate held him close, praying that Rachel would get that antidote.

"Got it!" Rachel said as the door to Interrogation snapped shut behind her. Immediately, eberyone around her began to move, doing this, doing that, grabbing things, slamming drawers. It was only minutes before she was in her car, picking up the phone and dialing Beckett.

Meanwhile in Castle's quarantine room, Kate didn't answer the phone. Rick had just started to cough blood, and Kate was sitting up next to him.

To put it quite simply, she was terrified. Of losing him, of never kissing him again, of never hearing him say 'I love you', never feeling that electricity when their fingertips brushed. She couldn't lose him. Not Castle. Of all the people in the world, the one she was the most terrified of losing was him.

After he stopped coughing up blood, he turned to look at her, his eyes full of tears, looking so scared. After a beat of silence, he fell into her, and buried himself in her embrace. She held him close, burying her nose in his hair, breathing in that sweet Castle scent.

"I love you, Kate,"

"I love you, too."

Then she remembered the phone. After gently helping him lie back down, she reached for her phone. She sat back against the slope of the mattress and Rick shifted so that his head was laying on her lap. She reached over to tuck the blankets around him before running her fingers through his hair soothingly with one hand and calling Rachel back with the other.

"McCord."

"Hey, it's me."  
"Kate! Why didn't you answer?" Rachel asked.

"He, um, he was coughing blood. Rachel, he doesn't have much time," Kate said.

"I know," Rachel replied. "We broke him, Beckett. We're on out way to get the antidote right now."

"Hurry, Rachel," Kate pleaded, looking down at Rick to see that he was shivering again. "Please, don't let him die, Rachel. Don't let him die."

"I'm doing my best. we're here, I gotta go," McCord said and promptly hung up.

"Die?" asked Castle hoarsely. Kate shifted so that she was lying next to him,his head on her shoulder. She kissed his forehead softly, her hand running soothingly up and down his back as he curled into her.

"No, angel," she murmured. "You're not going to die, okay? You won't. Rachel and the others are getting the antidote right now, okay?"

"What if they're too late?" he asked.

"Shhh," she quieted him, cradling his shaking frame even closer. "Shhh. Don't think like that, Rick. It's okay. You're going to be fine." Suddenly, he gasped, reaching for her hand, She took it and he squeezed her hand tightly.

"Kate, oh, god," he said. He forced himself to sit up slightly, feeling suddenly nauseous. But all he could do was dry heave painfully.

"Kate," he gasped.

"I know," she murmured. "Right here, baby." After the dry heaving had stopped, Castle fell back in Kate's arms, trembling and fighting tears. He whimpered and Kate wondered how many more times her heart could possibly break.

"Hurts, Kate," he said. "Really hurts."

"I know it does, baby," she repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. It sounded almost pointless now, she had said it so many times. "I know. Just hang on, Rick," Kate pleaded. She glanced at her watch. 30 minutes.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Kate?" His voice was small and scared.

"Yes, angel?" She wasn't sure where this new pet name had come from, but at the moment, she also didn't really care. He seemed to like it, and if it helped him in any small way, she was willing to do it.

"Kate, I can't see you," he said, sounding panicky. Her breath caught in her throat. Oh, god...

"What do you mean, baby?" she asked.

"I can't see you, you're all fuzzy," he said.

"Rick, baby, I need you to listen to me, alright? I need you to focus, can you do that?"

"Focus on what?" he inquired.

"On staying awake and taking slow, deep breaths," she instructed patiently.

"I just want to sleep," he mumbled.

"No, Rick," she said. "No. Listen, I know you're sleepy, I know you're in pain, and I know you just want this to be over. But I can't lose you, okay? I need you to hang on for me. Just a little bit longer, angel. Not long, sweetie. Can you do that, Castle? For me?" The ghost of a smile flickered across his face.

"For you...anything for you, Kate." She bent down and kissed his head.

"Stay with me, Rick, please stay with me. I need you in my life, Richard Castle, you hear me?" Her voice was wavering as she spoke, quietly and as calmly as she could to him.

"Mmm," he groaned, squeezing her hand. "Hurts, KAte. Hurts a lot. Too much." She soothed him quietly, almost mindlessly.

"I don't want to die, Kate," he said.

"Hey," she murmured. "Shhh. Don't, Castle. It's not over yet, not yet."

"Close, though."

"No, no, no, don't. Rick, please. Please. Shhh."

And then Rachel called.

"Rachel, please tell me you have that antidote," Kate said as she picked up the phone.

"We do," Rachel confirmed. "We're on our way back there now."

"Hurry," was all that Kate could say.

"How is he?"

"Rachel, just hurry," she repeated tersely.

"That bad, huh?"

"Worse."

"Okay, we're coming. We'll be there soon."

"Kate,"Rick mumbled.

"Go," said Rachel. They hung up and Kate turned her attention back to Castle.

"They have the antidote, Rick, they'll be here soon," she assured him.

"Kate, I...I can't breathe." Kate's heart stumbled in her chest. Oh, god. He didn't have long. Please, Rachel, please hurry.

"Here," she said quietly. She gently helped him sit up, supporting a good majority of his weight.

"Rick, look at me," she pleaded. His eyes met hers. "I know it hurts, baby. But you have to hold on for me, remember? Just focus on breathing, nice and slow, okay?"

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," Kate whispered. "You're doing great, sweetie, just a little longer."

"I like when you call me things like that," he whispered. She ran her fingers through his hair gently, brushing sweaty strands off of his skin.

"Things like what?" she asked.

"Angel, baby, sweetie."

"Oh. You like that, hmm?"

"Yeah."

"Well then maybe when you're feeling better you can convince me not to stop," she suggested.

"Mmm 'kay," he murmured. "Ow," he added.

"What?"

"Head again. Like it's all taking turns. Head, stomach, chest, legs, back to head again."

"I'm sorry."

"Cold," he said. "I'm so cold, Kate. Cuddle with me?" She wasn't sure if he was bordering on delirium or just seeking comfort. Either way, she allowed him to curl up in her side, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. She drew the blankets snug around his shoulders, cradling him close to her. He was shaking and he was starting to cry again. Kate's heart was shattering into a million tiny little pieces.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here," she mumbled. "I'm right here, I've got you."

"Kate." It seemed to be all he could say.

"Shhh, just breathe, angel."

"Kate, my head," he muttered. "Spinning."

"Just hang on, Rick, please angel, just hang on for me, I promise not much longer, sweetie. You can do it, Castle, I know you can. Just a few more minutes." She looked him in the eye and what she saw there scared her to no end. Blankness. No sparkle, no fear. Nothing. And then he fell limp in her arms, unconscious.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: No, I don't. I own all the Nikki Heat books and season 1-4 on DVD...signed Nathan Fillion photo, signed print of Beckett's apartment, signed note from Andrew and Terri, season 6 crew hat...does any of that count? No? Okay.**

**A/N: So I really hate hiatus...of any kind. At all. I really can't wait till January. In the meantime, re-runs. And lots of fanfic. Speaking of which, you probably want me to shut up since I'm evil and left you with a cliffhanger. Yep. Shutting up. Carry on, and pretty please review. After this, one more chapter. :)**

Chapter 10

"NO!" Kate cried. "No, no, Rick, please," she begged. "Please, no. Oh, god. Castle, please, please stay with me. Don't die on me, Rick."

"Just then, the door to the stairway banged open and Rachel McCord came flying in, followed closely by a medic.

"Rachel, he's unconscious," Kate called out, completely unable to keep the fear from her voice.

"Agent Beckett, just let me get a HAZMAT suit on and I'll come in to administer the antidote," said the medic.

"No!" Kate objected. "There isn't time for that! My fiancé is dying!" She gently eased out from under him and bolted to the door.

"Give me the damn antidote now," she demanded. "Don't you dare argue, give it to me right now." She held out her hand. When the medic just stared at her, she groaned in frustration and wrenched the filled syringe out of his hand and raced back to Castle. She knelt next to him and gently turned his hand over, giving her access to his wrist. She eased the needle into his vein and plunged the syringe, administering the medication. She extracted the needle and was pressing a piece of gauze to his wrist when two very strong pairs of hands seized her from behind. she turned to see that two men in HAZMAT suits were pulling her away.

"What the hell are you doing?" she snapped.

"Agent Beckett, you have to come with us," one of them said. "You've been exposed, we have to get to get you out of here right now."

"No!" she objected. "I'm not leaving!"

But it seemed she didn't really have a choice. Kate fought tooth and nail, but the HAZMAT guys overpowered her. They pulled her from the room, and, even as she protested, re-tested her for the toxin.

It was negative.

When she went back to the room, she stood outside. The HAZMAT guys were now crowded around the bed, blocking Rick from view.

"What are they doing?" she asked Rachel.

"They're inserting an IV and hooking up a monitor," she replied.

"Can I go in?" Kate asked.

"No. You didn't get exposed this time, but they're not willing to let you take that risk again. In a few hours, he won't be contagious anymore and then you can stay with him all you want when they move him to a regular room." Kate really wanted to argue but she just didn't have the energy.

"Fine," she sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair and sank back into her chair. She rested her head in her hands and let out a shaky breath.

"Is he going to be okay, Rachel?" she asked quietly. Her eyes met McCord's, the green-hazel irises scared and seeking, needing to know that her fiancé would be okay.

"He should be. We got it in time," Rachel said. Beckett closed her eyes briefly, a sort of guarded relief coursing through her veins. She wouldn't allow herself to be completely relieved until he could look at her with those sparkling eyes and assure her that he would be okay.

"You alright?" McCord asked.

"No, Rachel. I'm not. I just sat with my fiancé for three hours while he became increasingly sick, to the point where he was screaming into my shoulder. He was curled up in my arms, shaking and crying. He couldn't stop saying my name, crying for me, begging me to make it stop. He looked straight at me and told me he could not see me. He said that he couldn't see me, that I was all fuzzy. He was throwing up to the point that he was dry heaving. I could feel his constricting muscles under my hand. I watched him cough blood and there was nothing I could do about it. I saw the lights in his eyes disappear right in front of me. I felt him go limp in my arms. So no, Rachel, I am not alright." There was silence for a moment.

"If you need anything, just call me, alright?" Rachel said softly. Kate nodded wordlessly.

"Let me know when he wakes up," McCord said before walking away. Kate just watched.

When, finally, the HAZMAT-suited people moved, Kate could see Castle again. Her breath caught in her throat. They'd adjusted him so that he was lying back on the inclined mattress, the blankets having been re-situated so that they were lying smooth around him. He was hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor, which was beeping steadily. Kate sat and watched him for almost two hours. She was about to fall asleep, so she got up reluctantly and sought out coffee, determined to stay awake until he woke up. finally, she found some, and sat down at a little table to drink it. Before she had taken even two sips, she'd fallen aslepp, her head resting on her arms on the table


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: No. Only in my dreams.**

**Author's Note: This is it, guys! The end of the road! Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and yelling at me to hurry up with the antidote. **** You guys are the best, and I hope you will continue to read my other stories. Enjoy the final chapter of Glass Walls and No Regrets, and remember that I love you! Xx-Cassie **

Kate awoke with a start forty-five minutes later. She blinked at her watch in confusion before suddenly realizing that she had left him alone for nearly an hour. Abandoning her coffee, she sprinted back to the glass room.

When she arrived, she stopped short, panic filling her. The room was empty. Kate whirled around, searching for someone who could tell her what was going on. She found Carson and grabbed her again.

"Carson," she said. "What happened, where's Rick?"

"Oh," Carson said. "He was moved to a regular room."

"So he isn't contagious any more?"

"No, Agent Beckett, he isn't."

"Does that mean he woke up?" Kate asked. Carson nodded.

"He did," she confirmed.

"So I can see him?" Kate clarified. Carson smiled.

"Of course." She pointed off to her right, down the hallway. "Room 47." Kate nodded and hurried toward said room. When she found it, she hesitated for just a second before turning the knob and easing the door open. Her heart stumbled in her chest when she saw him. He was sitting up, only slightly leaning back on the pillows. He was still far too pale, but he turned his head when she entered and smiled at her. It wasn't his usual bright smile but it was a genuine one and it swept her off her feat merely because she hadn't been sure she hadn't been sure she would ever see it again. She managed to smile back at him a little as she approached him.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she managed to reply. He held his arms out to her as she neared and she bent down to hug him gently. He huffed a laugh and she felt his warm breath on her cheek.

"You can hug me tighter than that, Kate, I promise." She could do nothing but oblige, hugging him tighter. She pulled away and sat down in the chair next to his bed. He reached for her hand and squeezed it lightly. She tenderly reached over and brushed a piece of his hair off of his forehead, studying him with watchful eyes.

"How are you doing?" she asked quietly.

"Kind of achy and tired, but otherwise okay," he replied. Kate nodded and ducked her head. she didn't want to cry, not here, not in front of him. She blinked the tears away and looked back up at him, her eyes still just a little too bright. His eyes met hers, concern written all over his face. He reached up to cradle her cheek in his palm.

"Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong, Kate?" She didn't answer and he squeezed her hand. "Come on, Kate, talk to me," he said. "What's wrong?" She blinked and a tear trailed down her cheek. He lightly brushed it away with her thumb. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

"I just...I thought I was going to lose you," she whispered. She sounded so scared and so emotional. It broke his heart to see her like this.

"Come here," he said, holding out his arm to her.

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly. "I don't want to hurt you."

"no, you won't," he said. "It's fine, I promise." So she stood up and sat on the mattress next to him, facing him. He held out his arms to her and she curled into him, her arms wrapping around him, clutching the scratchy fabric of his hospital gown. She buried her head in his shoulder, a perfect fit as always. Rick wrapped her up in his arms, hugging her tight to his broad chest. The hand sporting an IV came up to bury in her chestnut hair, soothing her with his familiar touch. But it also made her tears fall harder and faster.

"Shhh," he murmured quietly. "Kate, baby, don't cry. Don't cry. It's okay. It's okay, I promise." He pulled her close, running his hand soothingly up and down her back.

"I was so scared, Rick," she whispered. "I really thought I was going to lose you."

"No, no," he mumbled. "Shhh. I'm fine, Kate. I'm fine. I'm okay, and I'm right here, okay? Right here." Kate took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of Castle. Even after 24 hours in the hospital, he still had the lingering remains of that warm, comforting scent. She wanted to be strong, wanted to pull away and brush the incident of her ears off. She wanted to be the fiancée he needed her to be, to be there for him at a time when he needed her. But she was so tired and so relieved, and she had been strong for the past 24 hours. And now he was here, not only alive, but also awake. He was smiling and his eyes were sparkly and he no longer looked like a scared little boy. He had those warm familiar arms around her and he was pressing soft, gentle kisses to her head. He was running his fingers through her hair and whispering to her, little words of comfort. He was assuring her that he was alright. And she just couldn't hold herself together anymore. So she drew her legs up onto the bed, curling into his welcoming arms, burying her face into his chest. And she let go. She allowed the tears to fall, allowing herself to break down, to fall apart. She had been the one to hold it together. But now, she seemed to have lost that ability. So she stopped trying. she clung to him, allowed the tears to fall, and counted her blessings.

Rick hated to see her so distraught. He wrapped hos arms tightly around her, cradling her close to him.

"Shhh," he said. "It's okay, Kate, I'm here. Everything's okay now, baby, I promise. I'm fine, Kate."

She wasn't sure how long they stayed there like that. After a while, she pulled back, swiping at the tears on her face. He cradled her cheek in his palm, wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his thumb, giving her a sweet, tender smile.

"You okay?" he asked softly. Kate nodded slightly.

"Yeah. I'm sorry," she apologized.

"For what?"

"For falling apart like that," she replied. "You've been through a lot. I shouldn't have put all that on you."

"No," he said with sudden fierceness. "No. Kate, listen," he implored with an edge of urgency. She met his gaze to find that his blue eyes were blazing. "Listen," he repeated. "Don't apologize, Kate. Don't. I owe you everything. I owe my life to you."

"Rick, I am not the one who saved your life last night," she objected.

"You helped," he said stubbornly. she started to object again, and he held up his hand to quiet her. "I completely agree that I owe a lot to Agent McCord as well, but Kate, I don't mean just last night. although I don't know what I would do without you through all of that. But I don't mean just that. I owe you everything a thousand times over."

"Rick, I don't think you're being entirely fair to yourself here," she said. "I'm not the one who made it through the night. You are. Not everyone could have been half as strong as you were."

"And if not for you, I wouldn't have been, either," he countered. When she opened her mouth to argue, he held his hand up to stop her. "That's not the point, Kate," he said softly. "The point is, you and I are good for each other. We always have been. And I can't imagine my life without you. I also can't imagine not giving my life for yours if it came down to that. I would, in a second." She smiled slightly at him.

"I know," she said softly. She brushed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"That's what partners are for."


End file.
